Today I am going to be sharing with you a little mindset hack that is going to serve you throughout the rest of you life.
No really. If you can get this down, I really do believe it will be a huge game changer for you.. Not only in your business. but in other areas of your life as well.
It’s a little unconventional. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talk about what I’m about to share in THIS way before. It’s actually something I started doing in my own business a while ago. I just never really thought enough about it to share it. But then the other day I was Voxering a few of my mastermind girls and kept sharing this concept and noticed a pattern and thought “oh, that’s so interesting.. maybe this should be a bigger conversation”.
So, what my girls were all at some level experiencing was they were having these sales conversations with prospects and getting super invested in these people they were talking to. Then for one reason or another, the prospect fell through. My clients ultimately got a “no”.
This bummed them out. Like I said, they had gotten a little invested in this particular person. Some of my girls were having conversations with potential team members and some were having conversations about pretty big sales opportunities. Things that could impact their business for sure. And the plan fell through- they got a no.
I know all of us at some point were trained to go for the “no” right? That’s like sales 101.. get so many no’s because eventually you’ll get a yes. It’s almost like whoever taught us that expects us to be robotic about it. They expects us to have zero feelings about the “no” conversations, even though, if you’re doing your job well, you’ve probably invested some time and effort into these conversations. When you do get a “no” it can feel like a major let down. I feel like what is missing from the classic “go for the no” system is what to do after. How to channel your thoughts and emotions after you get turned down so that you’re not falling in a downward spiral of negativity and sabotaging yourself.
SO the mindset hack I want you to start implementing into your own business and life is to not only go for the no, but to celebrate the no. I want you to be thankful when you get told no.
I KNOW!!! You probably think I’m crazy pants over here but hear me out, because like I said, I do this and it really has helped me SO much. I really do believe this little trick has led me to some of my best yesses.
Here’s my reasoning. Let me start out by asking you a question. When you get told “no”, what do you make it mean about you?
Really think about that and get honest. Let’s say you’re having a conversation about a big potential sale or a conversation with someone who is considering joining your team and the conversation ends with the prospect saying “no”. At this point, what are the thoughts that start running through your head?
If I had to guess, if you’re like most people, your thoughts probably sound something like, “What did I do wrong?” “I shouldn’t of said that” or “I should have said this” or “I suck” or “they didn’t like me”… right??
You probably take it personally to some extent, because you’re human and that’s what we do. We have an innate ability to make all things about ourselves. It’s science. BUTTTT herein lies a major issue because we all know at some level our thoughts control our emotions which controls our actions. Therefore, if each time you’re getting a “no”, you end up talking down to yourself then eventually that’s really gonna screw up your vibe. It could potentially cause you to miss out on a bigger opportunity that could be right around the corner.
Instead, if we were able to step away and look at the situation objectively or maybe if we knew more about the reason...because remember, we don’t know REALLY know why they’re saying no. I mean, they may give us an excuse which could be true! But we don’t really know. If we were to look at it from a detached perspective, we can probably come up with some more realistic reasons for why this person didn’t move forward. Right??
Maybe they really don’t have the budget for it. Or maybe they don’t have the spare time to devote to a side hustle right now like they originally thought they did. There could be millions of different reasons, and 9 times out of 10, it’s NOT what you’re thinking.
Ultimately, regardless of what the true reason is, it all boils down to one honest truth: this person wasn’t your person. That’s it. They’re just not a match. And girl. THAT bit of information is something worth celebrating, because it allows you to move on and devote your time and energy on someone who IS your girl.
Furthermore, if you are staying stuck on someone who has already said no (or this is applicable to people who are stringing you along too-I feel like they’re in the “no” camp also or even worse try and manipulate a yes into happening, this is when things go south right? Maybe you do go back to them and say something clever to change their mind. This is for my “I don’t take no for an answer” peeps. I feel like these people you successfully talk into a sale or business opportunity end up being the yesses we regret.
You know what I’m talking about. In most cases, these people end up being the team members that aren’t really working the business. They’re just taking up space or maybe this ends up being a person who buys something they deep down knew they didn’t want and ends up hating the product and leaves a bad review or asks for a refund. In the meantime, while you’ve been wasting energy on these people, you could have been putting in work to bring in multiple true, dream clients.
So we have to train ourselves to be thankful for when a person is honest and tells you no, because they quite possibly could be saving you a major headache down the road.
And listen!! MAJOR DISCLAIMER HERE. I am NOT saying to not hone in your sales skills. That is NOT what I’m saying. I think every single person on the planet should take some type of sales training and brush up on it throughout their whole lives. It’s very important. So I don’t want you to hear this and assume the way you’re going about your conversations is always the right way, because maybe it’s not.
For instance, if you’re sending out copy and pasted cold messages, I’m gonna go ahead and tell you that you are doing it wrong. But if you’re not sending out a ton of cold messages and you’re actually having genuine conversation, yet you’re still getting back to back no’s, I think it’s important to test out a couple different strategies and tweak your conversation a bit. Or maybe ask for feedback from a knowledgeable source, your upline or a mentor. When you do get a yes, take note of what you did differently. Sales is an art in and of itself and for sure takes practice to figure it out and you should always be fine tuning your approach.
So now that we got that out of the way, assuming you aren’t atrocious at sales, how do you go about celebrating a no?
How I go about this is I have this general attitude or I at least try to ( it’s sometimes easier said than done for sure) have the attitude of: it’s this or something better. I really do believe that. I believe that it is our job to know what we want, and then to take the action to set ourselves up to get the thing..right? Show up consistently, create the content, have the genuine conversations, prospect, whatever you do, but the WHEN and the HOW that thing or person comes into our lives isn’t up to us.
Because we only know what we know. We have a very limited view of the situation, and we have to trust that whoever’s in charge, God, the Universe, whatever you believe. We have to trust that He ultimately knows what’s best and has our back. Ok?
And listen, I get told no just about every day, because almost daily I’m having a conversation with someone about my mastermind. Or maybe a course or workshop that I’m offering, and A LOT of these conversations end with a big N-O. In the beginning, when I was first getting started with my business, this SUCKED.
I have had sales jobs before in the past, but at the time, I was selling someone else’s stuff. Of course I wanted a yes, but when I got a no, I never took it personally. When you are selling something that is centered around you, the no’s carry more weight for sure. There were definitely times in the beginning of my business that I would let a no TOTALLY affect my whole day and probably block me from other better opportunities.
But now.. I’m much more practiced at the art of celebrating a no. And this attitude has played out in my favor every single time.
The first example of this that I can think of has to do with my mastermind. It’s my main offer in my business so I have examples for days about it. When I decided I was going to launch my mastermind, I had to do a lot of journaling around it to get my mind right. IF you haven’t read the blog on journaling, I share allll about this and how I was able to successfully fill my mastermind by journaling. So check that out for sure.
One of the things I did was I journaled on who my ideal mastermind member was and I went into full detail about her attitude and her drive and all the things. As I was doing this.. I kept thinking of some girls I knew personally that I thought would be PERFECT fits for the mastermind. They fit my description to the t.
They all had their own businesses. I had even worked each one at some level before either through a 1:1 meeting or a course I had sold previously. I felt SO confident and sure that if I told these women about the mastermind, and extended them an invitation, most, if not all of them would become my first official members. Ya’ll I got my energy behind this. I was so excited and high vibe about it. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind. I was pumped.
So I sent each one a personalized message. There were 6 of them, and I still have the piece of paper that I wrote their names down. I sent each one a message explaining what I had going on and that they were first to know because I wanted them to have first dibs of spots since spots were limited. I went into detail about how the mastermind would benefit their business and how I would be so honored to work with them on a deeper level.. blah blah blah.. and every single girl said no.
Actually that’s not true.. two of them read it and never even responded. They just acted like I didn’t send it!!!! Like.. what!!
Like I said, these weren’t just some random cold messages I was sending out. I actually knew these women and they knew me. Not one wanted to do the mastermind, for various reasons, but it was 6 very personal no’s back to back. So it was a pretty big blow to my ego and this took place right before I was going to announce it to the rest of my audience for the first time. Like ahhhh… abort mission!!!
So at this point I had two choices, I could continue to take the no’s personally and make them mean something way deeper and negative than they really meant, which quite possibly could have influenced me to not launch my mastermind at all. Or I could suck it up and remind myself what I really believed to be true: that these girls weren’t a good fit for the mastermind after all.. That’s it. And I was going to find the ones that were.
And luckily… I chose the latter option and was able to keep a good attitude on “this or something better” and sure enough, something better was coming indeed. I ended up filling my mastermind with OVER 10 women who were perfect matches for who I wanted to work on a 1:1 basis with.
Isn’t that awesome??
So my call to action for you is to journal on this.. or marinate on it. Whatever you do. maybe on past situations or current situations where you’ve let no’s mean something more personal than what it should mean. How you can go about training yourself to not only accept a no for what it really is, but to celebrate it as well. Because all a no means right now is that a bigger, better yes is on its way. IF you believe and your actions back it up too.
Alright girlfriend!! I hope you enjoyed this post, it would mean the world to me if you took a minute and shared it on your stories or with some of your team members, as well.